i'm slightly disappointed in myself, in my previously-thought-to-be-indestructible self belief.

i just realised how easily i've allowed myself to be knocked down these past two years, and i'm slightly disgusted by it really. what happened to the lack of fear of falling down? i never cared for the scrapes and bruises. i'd just pick myself and try even harder. now it seems that i take each step so cautiously, so aware of comparisons and everything else that is fucking unnecessary.

this has been a wake up call. and i want to go back to my jc self. the self who'd throw herself wholeheartedly, unconsciously and fearlessly into life. and just do everything i want to do that comes my way. and truly live this experience.

(gosh, that sounded a wee bit cheesy) hahaha